Short Story: “Dietary Restrictions”

“Why aren’t you dead?”

The Count looked at the object protruding from his chest. “Stake, not steak, you fool.”

Van Helsing frowned. “As in ‘wooden stake’?”

“Precisely.” Fangs gleamed whitely.

“Good thing I’m vegetarian,” said Van Helsing.

The Count’s eyes widened…”Textured Vegetable Protein?”

“The same.”

“Damna…” The Count crumbled to ash, his words vanishing into the wind.

Van Helsing smiled grimly. “And they laughed when I said it was for my health!”

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