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Digression

I’ve begun teaching a new martial arts class at the university in Launceston, simply because they have the finest judo floor I’ve ever personally seen, let alone rolled upon. We had our third session last night, and there were a few more folks along which was good: it’s not a cheap floor to rent, and […]

Australian Government To Install Arse-Recognition Systems In Public Toilets

In a press release today, Mr Dink Halfwit of the Australian Department of Computerising Things That Really Shouldn’t Be Computerised announced the forthcoming installation of biometric recognition systems in public toilets all over Australia. “We’re already setting up to do this at airports using facial recognition,” he said. “But why stop there? After all, there […]

Nightmare and Waking

I don’t usually recall my dreams. But those that stay with me… well, being a writer for many years now has long ago plugged my narrative sense straight into my subconscious. I’ve had dreams wherein I scornfully recognised plot devices which were supposed to lead to further developments; dreams where I realised a certain character […]

Review: The Return of the Caped Crusaders

  Oh. My. God. A few months back, I went to the local cinema to watch the animated version of Alan Moore’s iconic The Killing Joke — an absolute classic in graphic novel form adapted to screen. The cinema was packed. The movie? Wow. It sucked. I mean… it really sucked. Today, however, I went to see […]

Review: X-Men Apocalypse

  Who are all these weird-ass people and why should we give a toss anyway?   Ugh. It was AFL Grand Final day, and a number of my good friends in this area begged for an alternative to hanging around while their parents watched beefy men chase a chunk of leather around the field, so […]

Acquired Tastes

According to the psychologists, there are — broadly — two human responses to new phenomena. Some folk are more inclined to look suspiciously upon the new, while others bounce up with tails wagging to see what’s happening. By and large, I fall into the latter category. I like music from all over the world. I […]

The Great Gerund Hunt

“It was close. So close I could smell it, even through the stink of fear-sweat and the rough tang of the city streets. Gerund. Once you get that scent… once you’ve smelled it, that cloying mix of blood and carrion and jasmine and chocolate, you’ll never forget it. You’ll never mistake it. You’ll never be […]